Keep Breathing

It's just been one of those afternoons. Ryan got off the bus and hung his head. I know what this means anytime it happens....rough day. These rough days are becoming more and more frequent and I am at a loss. Yet again today he refused to do his work. Not that he just didn't want to do it.....he flat out REFUSED. When I was growing up this wasn't an option. You did your work regardless. I don't really understand what his problem is. Yes, I know he has ADD Yes, I know that sometimes school is a challenge because he is bored out of his mind. He needs to be more challenged on a daily basis. But sometimes I think it's nothing more that a good backside beating would fix. I know there are others like myself that struggle with this and it's just so hard some days. I have said the same thing over and over thousands of times, "sit down and do your work" "Just do it!!!" I have taken away many of his fun things and have backed up bed time. I guess now it's time to try a new day medication. I HATE them because of their side effects. I hated it when he wouldn't eat and then had trouble falling asleep. It's almost as if I was giving an upper and downer to a drug addict. Stimulant by day and sleeping medicine at night. Is that what we should do? Turn kids in to drug addicts. I'm falling apart and don't know what else to do. I know this will pass and one day things will be better. But until that time I have to remind myself to "keep breathing"

Sweet Dreams

I've talked before about praying with my children. This is something I make sure I do every night I am home. I believe this to be of utmost importance when it comes to raising my boys. And although I am not perfect, this is one thing I want them to always remember.

Ryan has been doing very well with his big boy prayers. He has even started praying for others without prompting, which to me is very impressive. Most days he thanks God for things we have and the blessings of everything we have around us. I am grateful he is learning at a young age to have "an attitude of gratitude" and E would say.

Alexander tonight surprised me though. He always says his blessing and then I pray his, "Now I lay me down to sleep......" Sometimes he chimes in but he always says "Amen". Tonight as I started he put his hands over my lips and said, "shhh, I want to say it by myself". And that he did,

"Now I lay me down to sleep,
The Lord I pray my soul to keep,
May angels watch me through the night,
And keep me in their blessed sight,
Amen, Thank you Jesus"

A mom can't help but have sweet dreams following that. My heart is full :)

Beautiful days

Today started out as any other Saturday that I am off......I haven't slept, kids are up way before I want to be (unfortunately it's really 7am) and Mike is gone for a run with his running group. I haven't been to the grocery in a while so the only thing for breakfast is frozen waffles, eggs, and oatmeal. The kiddos ate the waffles, myself having eggs and oatmeal. Not the tastiest combo, but good before heading to the gym in a few hours. We took off to the gym around 9 for my triple fit class. I have to say I have become a little bit of a cardio junkie. Anything that raises my heart rate and burns calories I am all about :) I look forward to Allison's classes because I know she will kick my backside EVERY time.

We had a little lunch after I had a long, HOT, bath......which could have only been made better if there were no children running in and out and I had a glass of Zinfandel in my hand. Oh well.....motherhood. After them resting a bit I decided to take the boys to Evan's Orchard. It's about 20 minutes from here and we go quite often in the fall. The weather was so beautiful today we couldn't pass it up. The boys were a little whiny, but I knew as soon as we got there they would be overjoyed.....


and that they were!!






They had a great time playing in the corn



going down the slides





and just being as busy as boys can be.....they climbed, ran, played hide and seek in the straw maze



and showed me their very adorable sides to remind me just how blessed I am to be their mommy




They ate ice cream (while I drank my diet pepsi....)




and of course we had to measure for the fall





It was shaping up to be one of the best days of early fall


.....and then both of them got stung by red wasps. Oh the drama!!!!! Of course it was a few minutes before I realized what had happened because we were in a wooden maze. I could see over the top, but I had to get to them. When I found them, both had been stung :( Ryan's was on his right arm and under his left eye. Luckily Alexander only had one on his right arm. I finally got us out of the maze and headed to the main building to let the owners know. It didn't bother me and I wasn't upset because this is what can happen when you play outside. They were very apologetic and let me dive in to their emergency kit. We found some hydrocortisone cream and bandaids and that seemed to fix it for a little while. Both of them cried a few more times, but now a few hours later are just fine.

We ended the afternoon by heading to walmart and chilling out. Alex wanted to watch Yogi bear, but..........



and Ryan vegged out watching TV in my room



These are beautiful days.........

Here we go again....

Well, here we go, back to school again..........This is the first full week for us. I'm not sure why they do things like this, but we had a Thursday-Friday, then Monday-Thursday, and now a full week. I don't know if it's more for the teachers, or to ease kids back in to the swing of things.

We had open house a few weeks back, where we had the opportunity to meet Ryan's 2nd grade teacher and see what his room was like. I have to say, I was not a fan. As a teacher I expected her to be a little more outgoing and engaging to me. I mean, she's going to be teaching my son all year. And I am not just a "sit on the sidelines" kind of mom. I am involved in trips and things in the classroom. Anyway, she seemed nice enough and we looked forward to school beginning.

Day 1: utter disaster.......I sat in car line for at least 15 minutes before school was over then another 35 until I was able to pick him up. The school is finishing construction of some other things, so hopefully there will be a separate place for buses and cars. Right now the cars have to wait for buses to load.....needless to say, he is a bus rider most days now. Anyway, I picked him up and he told me it was a good day. I breathed a small sigh of relief seeing as how I had not received a phone call during the day and even the principal said he had a good day. I treated him to orange leaf fro yo before heading home to delve in to all of the necessary paperwork of a new school year. Not long after we arrived home, I got a phone call. The one I had been dreading all day. His teacher wanted to talk about the day. Oh heavens, here is comes........Ryan wouldn't participate, wouldn't sit in his seat, refused to do his work....etc. GREAT----HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!!! We talked a little about how to handle things with him and ideas of how to make things better. After we got off the phone, I talked with Ryan about why he acted the way he did. I feel as though he was just pushing buttons to see what he could get away with this year. I also think he was very nervous and anxious about what was going to happen this year in 2nd grade. Yeah, I know moving up is scary, but you still have to do your work regardless. Throughout the years, I have learned that Ryan carries his heart on his sleeve and worries a lot about what other kids think. It's crazy to think that a kid his age would feel that way so early in life, but he does. As much as I try to tell him it doesn't matter, he still gets intimidated. He didn't want to ask questions on the first day because he was afraid other kids would make fun of him......bless his heart. I tried to explain to him that other kids probably had the same questions too, but didn't want to ask either. It would be better to ask and understand than to not ask and make a mistake. I was hoping and praying all that would sink in before the 2nd day.

Day 2: WONDERFUL.........He did everything he was supposed to. He did his work, sat in his seat, and participated in class. For this I was truly grateful. It doesn't change the fact I was sick to my stomach all day waiting for a phone call. When I picked him up (after yet another hour in car line) he was so excited about how his day had gone. Oh, sigh of relief when I read his planner and it truly was a wonderful day :)

Week 2: It had it's ups and downs. The second day of week 2 was a little rough, but I had worked the night before and things just didn't go very smoothly that morning. It's hard for Ryan to turn things around when the beginning is not good. Needless to say, I make sure everything is in place before I leave for work now. Even now as I type this, I'm sitting here on call but had given instructions to Mike and Ryan regarding the morning if I had to work. The rest of the week went smoothly and Ryan is getting in the swing of things.

So here we are at the beginning of Week 3. I hope and pray for a smooth week. Ryan knows what to do and understands what is expected of him. I know more of how to handle things and get them started in the right direction. I've said before I wish kids came with a manual so this trial and error wouldn't have to occur. But, first kids are the guinea pigs of life for us as adults. We have to learn how to do things just like the kids do. I just pray God gives me the wisdom to teach my little guinea pig the right things to do. I love you Ryan.......here's to a great week 3!!!!!

And the days go on.....

I have said before and I'll say it again...I will never win mother of the year award.

I don't always feed my kids the right food because we're on the go a lot.

They aren't forced to eat vegetables as much as I was growing up. (Not that it was a bad thing mom, just yucky)

I get edgy and upset some days because I'm tired and they have enough energy to bounce to the moon and back.

But throughout it all I am blessed beyond measure with their unconditional, undying love for MOM. Yes that's me. I am mom.
I drive everyone around, I cook, I clean, I take care of boo boos, and give enough hugs to squeeze like a boa constrictor. But many days, I am not perfect.......

Yesterday I was tired. I had stayed up late after work to go see a doc a the walk in sports medicine office about my calf. I pretty much knew what had happened, but just wanted a little reassurance that it wasn't anything worse. By the time I got home and in bed, I knew my nap was going to be short. Although 5 hours sounds like a lot to some people, it's not for me. I don't do well or cope with wild and crazy children on little sleep. After waking, I showered and went to pick them up. Tuesday nights are always "welcome to Moes" because kids eat free on Tuesdays :) And then normally we head to get a little Orange leaf frozen yogurt (that has definitely become one of my only semi-guilty dessert snacks). Both of the kids had one of those zhu zhu pets with them. If you haven't encountered them yet, maybe you shouldn't. They're annoying as all get out with their little noises and squeaks. Especially on a tired day..... I took them both away and banged them until they were quiet. I could see the look in Ryan's eyes when I got so upset. I felt so badly for the way I acted, but actions speak louder than words and cannot be taken back. Once home, I bathed them and put them in pajamas ready for bed. They were allowed to watch a little TV before crawling in to bed. Once teeth were brushed, Alexander starts asking for chocolate milk. I know he doesn't understand the concept of not eating after brushing teeth, but we were so close to bedtime I didn't want to give him any. That, of course, resulted in a dramatic finish to my evening with him screaming and crying over chocolate milk. I finally gave in and just said to myself, "forget it....it's not the end of the world". By this point I was about toast. I just wanted 5 minutes of me time....but the kids had to be put to bed, and when I'm home that's my mommy duty.

As always, we say our night night prayers on Ryan's floor. Alexander usually crawls up in my lap and Ryan sits in front of us both. Alexander says his blessing, "God is Great, God is Good, Let Us thank him for our food. Amen. Thank you Jesus" It's just too cute to not let him...Ryan says his big boy prayers by thanking God for his day and praying for strength to have a good day the next day and to make good decisions. I'm proud that he is learning to see how decisions have consequences and they need to be made wisely. When he was finished, it was my turn. I always thank God for my day and the life we have and this night I prayed for forgiveness. Forgiveness for not winning the mother of the year award, forgiveness for being short with my kids, and asking for strength to do better as a mom. I cry as I type this because I know there are other moms, just like me, and we all hurt some times and we all need a break some times. (Thank you Erica) Afterward, Ryan just attacked me and hugged me saying, "It's okay mom. We'll have a better day tomorrow."

Thank you God for the opportunity to raise these boys and for their unconditional love for me like you have for us all. Thank you for allowing me another day to be a better mom. I promise I'll work harder and try to be less edgy when I'm tired, realizing that it's not their fault.

Here's a prayer going up for all of us moms....in that moment that life just seems to be spinning out of control. God loves us and will see us through these times. One day we'll look back on this journey and wonder what all the fuss was about....

Blessings

Blessings.

They come in many forms.

It may be someone complimenting you on something you did. It may be surviving cancer. It may be the feeling you get from helping someone else.

I have been blessed in many ways. God has seen us through trials in the past few years and we've come out stronger than ever. But tonight I was blessed in a different way.

I have always tried to instill the love of God into our children. Everything we do as parents comes back to us at some point in time. So tonight, as we were preparing for bed, Ryan, Alexander, and myself sat on Ryan's floor for prayers. We've done this before because it's easier since Ryan has a loft bed. Most of the time though, it's just myself and Ryan saying prayers, and I say them with Alex when I put him to bed. But tonight, since Mike is on night shift, it's just the three of us. Ryan is old enough now to say his "big boy prayers" and is slowly getting better about being respectful by bowing his head and closing his eyes. Although this is not always necessary, I feel he needs to do this to get the general grasp of things. Anyway, tonight as we bowed our heads, Ryan began with, "Now I lay me down to sleep" I chose not to interrupt and let him continue. The next thing I knew, Alexander was joining him saying his prayers with him. When they finished I had tears in my eyes. Listening to my children pray just makes my heart explode. Ryan looked at me and said, "mom, I was just saying that so I could help Alex" WOW what a heart!!! I looked at both of them, with my hands on my face, and said, "that just makes my heart happy". Ryan promptly said his prayers the allowed me to finish with the big prayer as I always do. When I finished, Alexander had his hands on his face and said, "mommy that makes my heart happy". I have tears of joy now just thinking of that. How lucky of a mom am I that my boys are grateful and can see the love of Jesus in our prayers.

Thank you God for blessing me with the two beautiful boys I have to raise on this earth. I will be forever grateful.

Take a moment to listen to and watch this video by Laura Story, Blessings

Time passes

Holy cow how time flies....

First grade is behind us (thank heavens for that) and we are at the end of the third week of summer break. Only 6 1/2 more weeks and I will have a second grader!!! Unbelievable to think.......oh well, I know they have to grow up. This morning Ryan came to get in my bed when he woke up, as he always does, to give me morning hugs and kisses. I explained to him how he used to fit in the crook of my arm when we rested in bed....now he is almost as tall as I am. He just laughs and says, "aw mom". Yes those were the days of peace, when even though he would cry, he couldn't move or complain, or fight with his brother. I am ever so grateful for those moments, but even more so for the moments of these days. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Alexander is getting ready to move up to the new class at daycare as well :( It's not for long, as in the fall he will head to preschool!! My little man will be 4 in the fall. WOW!!! Thank goodness he will stay there for a year before he moves to the pre-K class. I can't think that far ahead because then I start crying.

When you give birth it's exciting. They're so cute and cuddly. As they grow we watch them change and become such little "people" I always knew this would happen, but watching them grow makes me sad in a way. I don't want these days to go by so quickly. I spend time with them watching movies, going to the pool, and reading books and saying prayers at night. Alexander sometimes tries to say them with me, but he ALWAYS has to say, "Amen" It's just his thing. And for that I am grateful.

We have traveled a little as of late......heading down to the great state of Tennessee. We visited family in Memphis and did a lot of fun things. The boys met cousins they have never seen, and were able to play with them for the first time. Yet another part of growing up....I was able to visit with my cousin I haven't seen since our grampa's funeral 8 years ago. So sad how we grow up and apart from each other. I know we all wish we could have more time together.

So I'll post a few pictures from the family hoopla 2011 as is was ......








There are way more to post, but these will do for now. A lot of them are on my facebook page and those of my family's. What an awesome weekend :)